The title says it all. This is going to be a pretty raw entry.
I thought when I decided to step back from the show and let Alexis do her thing, I would be allowing the best things for her life while I went back to what I do best: business. Instead, I am more the topic of discussion now than when I was part of the show.
Without provocation, I have become the whipping boy of Orange County. Could it be because I chose to leave the show? What do you think? I can understand now how a man could do harm to himself in these shoes. It’s not an easy thing to be on TV in the ﬁrst place, but like I said in my last blog, it was a decision we made with our eyes open. SO I THOUGHT.
But now I can’t believe the reality of reality TV. Imagine what it would be like to be watching a show you knew millions of people were watching at the same time while people who you’ve not uttered one word about drag your name through the mud with pure enjoyment.
Coming from the place of hurt that I am in, and knowing the things I know from living here and being on the show, it would be so easy for me to blast those who have INTENTIONALLY tried to assassinate my name and character. It would be so easy but it’s not worth it. If I do, I become just like them, and that is the very reason I stepped back from the show. At the end of the day, I have to answer to God, and I know it wouldn’t sit right with me to try to tarnish the names of these women as they have done to me.
In one tiny segment of a TV show, my entire self worth and good name were put on trial for no reason and in a completely unwarranted fashion—and in a setting where there was no way for me to stand up for myself. What would you do? Would you ﬁre back? Would you try to devastate another person? What makes someone your opponent is your decision to lend credence to their thoughts and actions. You have to engage someone for them to officially be your opponent. You couldn’t play a game if there was no one there to play against, and that’s who I had thought I had made myself by leaving the show, but once again, I thought wrong.
But that’s the point, isn’t it? This is a game. Instead of basing things on facts or dealing with reality, TV caters to the need for a storyline, a catch, a hiccup, that moment that everyone watching in the room gasps simultaneously. I have become the reason for that gasp. In fact, for a few days after watching this episode, I was devastated. But I am a big boy and its time to pull up my bootstraps and move on.
There is a nationwide dependence on drama, and an epidemic need to destroy real human beings. Many of you have been commenting about the fact that I should have told Alexis about prior relationships, so I would like to respond and give you the FACTS…
WHEN ALEXIS AND I BECAME SERIOUS, WE HAD A VERBAL CONTRACT THAT NEITHER OF US WOULD EVER BRING UP OR DISCUSS OUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS. I WAS VERY HONEST AND UPFRONT THAT I HAD DATED A LOT ALL IN SEARCH OF THE WOMAN THAT I WANTED TO CALL MY WIFE, AND SINCE WE CHOSE TO LIVE IN THE TOWN THAT I GREW UP IN, WE AGREED THAT THERE WAS NOTHING POSITIVE TO BE GAINED FROM BRINGING UP OLD FLAMES, OR HAVING DISCUSSIONS ABOUT WHO HAD DATED WHO, AND ALL THE STRINGS THAT COME ATTACHED TO OPENING THAT CAN OF WORMS. WE MADE THIS AGREEMENT OUT OF RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER, NOT AS A WAY TO HIDE OUR PASTS. WE TOOK EACH OTHER AS WE WERE, AND THAT WAS THAT.
I am a real human being. The accusations tossed around so cavalierly about me tonight made me shudder—not just for myself and my wife, but because of the basic premise: Anyone can be made to seem like a kind of monster if he or she has enough enemies on reality TV. Whether you’ve earned those enemies or not means nothing—because in the end, decisions about your imagined (not real) character will be decided based upon any information given on air—no matter how inaccurate, false, or outrageous the claims may be. In an effort to explain to everyone the facts I have created a facts page to let you decide what the truth is. PLEASE CLICK HERE to read the Jim Bellino Bio.
What’s funny is that I could easily sit here and do the same thing—I could very easily tell you stories about these women that would change how you perceive them, just as they have changed how I am perceived. But after reading this I hope you will realize why I have chosen not to play the game. It’s beneath me. And no matter how far escalated the accusations get, I will not stoop to their level—not for reality TV, not for fame, not for fortune, and not for anything else.
As humans, we are driven to react initially without thinking—in an animalistic fashion we very frequently attack viciously—AND BELIEVE ME, AT THIS POINT, I WANT TO ATTACK VICIOUSLY. But this is not what God wants. God wants us to WAIT, and have a spiritual reaction, and by choosing this more mature way of dealing with things are born opportunities to heal and move on.
Calling someone disgusting because you don’t like how a TV show is working out for you is that animalistic response. Addressing real grievances appropriately after thoughtful consideration is the type of spiritual reaction I am trying to have now. Please don’t misunderstand me—I am not insinuating that I am spiritual, I am simply saying it’s the reaction I am trying to have. I have rewritten this blog 10 times so far and believe me, it started out “blasting,” but ultimately I just couldn’t let myself sink to their level.
When there is no story to tell, people invent one using what few splinters of a crafted reality they can to make it stick. But the only thing still standing when the smoke clears is the truth, no matter how long it may take that smoke to clear.
When you bless those who curse you, God shines his favor on you. It’s not always easy, but it is very rewarding. I hope God shines his favor on all the castmates, but I also hope the time for dragging my name through the mud is now over. All TV drama has an expiration date, and the one that makes me the scapegoat went bad a long time ago. Time to move on—even the fans are totally over it.