Before I get into this week’s blog, I want to address something so many of you have been talking about online. It’s one of those details that you forget about when you can’t see the forest for the trees. After this, I will lay this subject to rest permanently, but this has to be brought up as it was addressed by so many of you and brought up on the show (hopefully for the ﬁnal time.)
I didn’t realize how many people were under the impression that Alexis did not know I had dated Peggy until she said something on the show. This is woefully inaccurate. What REALLY happened was that Alexis and I had our agreement (as I stated in my last blog) but as SOON as we found out Peggy had been chosen for the show, I told Alexis that she and I had dated (15 years ago.) So for anyone still laboring under the misconception that Peggy was the one to break the news to Alexis, this is simply not true. And that’s a wrap!
Now onto this week. I want to thank the tens of thousands of people who have visited this blog and those who have reached out and conﬁrmed my feeling that breaking my silence was the right thing to do. Although I am not sure how long I will continue to blog, I’m going to keep it up for now. Frankly, it feels good, and I ﬁnd it to be a relief to be able to tell you the truth the way I see it.
This week, I’m stepping into the lion’s den for my wife. Alexis is one of the kindest, most loving, and authentic friends one could ever have. To see people take her friendship for granted and walk away from it blows my mind. That might sound very biased, but she is my wife after all, and I know what a pure heart she has, and how much emotion and effort she puts into those people she calls her true friends.
It SEEMS this week that Alexis can say nothing right. It made me realize something: Alexis and I don’t deny Christ at all, but some have labeled us as self-righteous, or judge us in a way that is different from everyone else on the show. We never claimed to be better or wiser than anyone else, and we don’t place judgment on others based on their faith. Has anyone else noticed that Alexis has been placed in the “religious” category where she is scrutinized more closely than anyone else on the show?
The way Alexis comes off this week is unfortunate, but it’s also not very fair. Because Alexis is not a fake, she says what’s on her heart and mind—not what she thinks someone wants her to say. Others will say and do a lot to get what they want or to seem “edgy” in the moment. Some are out for money, others for fame, and others just want to be told they are right. None of it is really about fame and fortune, it’s about acceptance at the most basic level.
Having stepped away 18 months ago, it all seems very clear from my point of view. I really wasn’t sure if doing a blog about my thoughts was a good idea, but I also wasn’t sure if disappearing without some explanation was a good idea either. But now I see that giving myself the space to speak freely, I’ve actually truly allowed myself to see there’s a lot going on for the love of money. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoy nice things like everyone else, but they don’t define us and they are certainly not our driving force. What drives us is God, family, and friends.
You hear people say all the time that money is the root of all evil. Not so. It is the LOVE of money that is the root of all kinds of evil. Everyday we see someone say or do something to have the competitive edge over someone else. I too have been guilty of this. For what? To stay relevant, to continue making money, or in the case of some, to gain a higher sense of self when the best part of themselves—their true inner self with all its potential—was sitting right there all along!
Whether it’s money or glory you’re after, both are expendable, and both have an exchange rate. HAS ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT AS OUR ECONOMY HAS WORSENED THAT THE EXCHANGE RATE ON OUR INTEGRITY HAS GOTTEN LOWER? We have to ask ourselves, what is the exchange rate on our integrity? On our humility? On our humanity? On our morality? We should all ask ourselves these questions and answer honestly.
Whether it’s cash or another kind of currency is irrelevant. Once you are so consumed by the desire for things and status, the meaning of life washes away like watercolor. Life is meant to be big and vibrant—not always perfect, and not always pure, but bright, full, and meaningful because of what you do for others, how you conduct yourself in both good and bad times, and how you behave in both good company and bad. It’s not up to us to judge, it’s up to us to live as best we can based on what we know—NOT what we have.
In the end when we die, what we saved we had, what we spent we lost, and what we gave we have. All we have left is what we gave.