Your Source for Jim Bellino Information

There’s an old saying, “Don’t get mad, get even.” This saying isn’t very Christian, but beyond that, it won’t do you any good to get even with someone—it always backfires. So no matter what you believe in, Jesus, karma, or just living by the Golden Rule, in the end, getting even will take it’s toll on YOU spiritually, materially, emotionally, and physically; NOT the person you’re trying to get even with.

So that’s my caveat for this week’s episode, because I see people behaving in a way that I would like to “get even” with. But I know that won’t serve me, and it sure won’t help Alexis or our family. Instead, I say don’t get mad, get driven!

In this week’s episode, we see people gossiping and talking so much trash, but then in the next scene, we see the same people being talked about and getting mad about being talked about. High school cheerleaders are more mature and better put together than this—it’s like watching an episode of 90210, but without any charm, class, or levity between the bouts of puerile nonsense.

It can be our normal reaction when we are talked about to lash out and defend ourselves—I think we’ve all been in a place where the need to defend ourselves has arisen, and sometimes we don’t make the best tactical moves when doing so. Think back to when you were a kid and you were being made fun of at school. When you came home, do you remember what your mom said? “Ignore them.” My mom used to tell me, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you.” Moms are the best at dispensing such awesome pearls of wisdom. And we should try more to live by them—but when what someone else thinks of you can literally destroy your life because it’s being said to millions of people, it’s a different story.

What a group of school kids are giggling about when you walk by their lunch table is one thing; what someone says deliberately to harm you in the eyes of the public is quite another matter. The bully mentality is the same in both places—it’s just that the people on TV have the tools to be destructive on a larger scale, but that doesn’t make their mindset any more evolved than that lunch table of snickering bullies.

It sure is convenient when people use being feminine as a means to protect themselves against a man talking about them, but then they say anything they want about a man—this kind of hypocrisy makes me wan to throw up. We have a moral responsibility when it comes to being on TV, so when someone’s child has cancer, and you continuously berate and belittle that person, you have crossed a line, and you have to expect that the person you have attacked is going to eventually give you back your due. With that said, I don’t agree with any of the gossiping, I’m simply explaining the natural course of events you can expect when one person bashes another relentlessly—eventually, a beaten dog will bite you. I don’t agree with how even those who have been victimized have chosen to deal with it, but you can certainly see the chronology of events that lead to what’s unfolding in front of us now.

I don’t think it’s fair to play the gender card. If you have, and claim that it’s sexist for a man to talk about a woman after you’ve attacked his character as a man, you’re being short sighted. I don’t agree with sexist commentary, but I also don’t believe in hiding behind excuses when you are guilty of making horrific remarks that start unstoppable and unbearable rumors. And by the way, no one is buying the wiping away of nonexistent tears.

Malicious gossip drives some people. So to those people, we say thank you—it’s the naysayers that drive us. Alexis has never worked so hard—she has accomplished so much since she has been on this show, but what makes her a person of high character is that she would never sell her soul for a paycheck. If you’re paying attention, you’ll notice that Alexis doesn’t change who she is or alter her personality depending on where she is or who she is with—she is true to herself and doesn’t do “personality wardrobe changes” to fit in, to please, or to stir the pot. She defines classiness on this show.

Did Alexis overstate her role on Fox 5? Absolutely! But haven’t we all overstated when we are excited about a new endeavor in our lives? Imagine if every time you accomplished something, people all around you put it down for the entire world to see on television. If someone in your life is putting you down, DON’T GET MAD, GET DRIVEN!

Alexis has two clothing lines, and is finalizing a deal with a third. She is working on a morning show, she is writing a book, AND she is a great wife and an unbelievable mother. I can tell you first hand that when Alexis watches shows like this week’s episode, she doesn’t get mad, she gets DRIVEN. Take a page from her book—if someone in your life is a thorn in your side, let their gossip and hate tactics drive you. Some people’s reaction to Alexis being picked up by Fox 5 can only be described as rage. I’m not asking people to be thrilled for someone they dislike, but if all they can muster is rage, it’s probably not about Alexis’ success, but about missing pieces in their own lives.

If you can’t keep someone’s name out of your mouth, no matter what the sentiments for them are, it means you are thinking about them—the more you talk about them, the more it becomes evident you are thinking about them. It’s simple psychology. These are simply jealous, base people living a life that is so bereft of meaning they have nothing to add to conversations but flippant, sarcastic, angry interjections. The meaning of their lives revolves around the bitterness they have created for themselves, and they are unable to control their reactions because they long for happiness. What’s ironic is that this happiness is out of their reach BECAUSE of their bitterness and inability to live and let live.

This is not an isolated incident—we all face these challenging people everyday in our lives, but it’s how we react to them will determine our destiny. I leave you with this: “Vengeance is mine says the Lord.” Do you remember how the Rocky movies end? Well, we’re only in round five, and Alexis is Rocky, so stay tuned.

Just keeping it real,

-Jim

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Comments on: "What Goes Around Came Around…" (57)

  1. pinnky2 said:

    i kinda wish you’d just come out n say Tamara is a horrible person becuz she is. heard 2day that she got engaged what the heck is Eddy thinking????? hearing her talk is like drinking gasoline. she is only mean tho I think cuz she knows that that will get her somewhere in ratings to stay on the show becuz what else does she have that is worth anything to bravo???? zero

  2. RBeavRN said:

    I lvoe how you state the facts while defending your beautiful and talented wife :)

  3. cate23 said:

    I love what you’ve written and agree with what you have said. I look forward to your blogs.
    I haven’t seen any of this seasons episodes as they haven’t started here in Canada. Can’t wait to see them.
    Keep strong and don’t lower yourselves to their level.

  4. Words of wisdom! The best revenge is living well!

    • If you feel this way I understand, but what I don’t understand why do you ontinue to surround yourself with these people,you have a choice.

        • Laura said:

          Is that why we don’t see you on the show as much? Your staying away from the “drama”? By the way, I think your hot :)

        • StephieLynn said:

          Then why is Alexis so upset that you weren’t invited to the Bunco party? Her Bravo blog blasted Tamra for it.

          Can’t have it both ways.

  5. Love your blog! So admire you & Alexis for being bold Christians, yet not pretending to be perfect.

  6. Amen Jim!

  7. Elizabeth said:

    You took the thoughts in my brain and literally wrote them down! There is some major hypocrisy on this show particularly by two obvious people. I’m glad someone in this group has some common sense and thanks for laying it down bc it drives me nuts to see some middle aged women act like theyre 5!
    P.S. not a religious person really at all but the sole reason I still watch the show is bc of Alexis! Love her she is an awesome person and has a huge heart..

  8. Love it! SO true!

  9. Nisey said:

    I totally agree. My mom has always told us if you’re not talked about you’re not thought about. I love that quote!

  10. Thank you!!! Finally some common sense coming from the show. I absolutely love and adore Alexis. I get her, I see Tamara as jealous and insecure. When you disagree with someone, take it up with them and not their wife or girlfriend. You and Alexis are way above this. I applaud your ability to turn the other cheek. I truely appreciate you keeping it real here!! Much love to your beautiful family!!

  11. Laurina said:

    i have been so impressed with your blogs. keep it up and tell Alexis she has many people who adore her.

  12. Carolina Girl said:

    I just watched the scene where Gretchen is on the phone with Tamra saying how she can kick Slade in one ball and let Tamra kick him in the other ball…….. what kind of human being aligns themself with their new friend above their boyfriend of several years? I would be thinking over my relationship if my boyfriend did that to me with 1 of his friends espec. 1 that he had barely become friends with after years of being treating like crap.

  13. MarshaMay said:

    You have done a good job of keeping it respectful Jim, I don’t think I’d be able to if I had been in your shoes! I wanted to say I agree with your stance on who is clearly Slade that your talking about. I hate what he did and it was in such poor taste but for gods sake what do you expect after Tamra beats him like drum almost every week? And on the re-union, it could not have been any worse and I do’nt blame him at all for being angry enough to lose his mind!

  14. Suzanne said:

    Omg when your wife walked in the plastic surgeons alone my thought was “if i was your friend i’d be there with you”! I understood why alexis was crying!! I would be too. Especially if u have kids and a hubby u love. I personally love your wife on the show and cringe every time a mean thing is said. I hope alexis has real friends outside the show bkz gretchen isnt seeming that great to me lately. Love ur blog!!

  15. sunny said:

    There is nothing sexier than a man who looks after his wife and defends her. You’re looking pretty sexy right now!! ;P

  16. Jim,

    I don’t know you at all but what you say always has a real side of truth to it. I watch the show with my wife (begrudgingly) and the other husbands just don’t seem to have the vision into what is really going on the way you discuss it here. I imagine it will not be long before they too begin to blog so they can have their say and why shouldn’t they?

    I applaud you for calling it like you see it and I’m sure it can’t be easy. We are both family men but I cannot imagine what it might be like to see my wife be hurt so deeply. It is great that you stand by her in all of this and give her the leeway to continue with the show if she chooses. My wife is also a strongminded woman and very much an individual.

    I never write on these things but I too am a brother in Christ and I hope you and your family will be provided for by the Lord God Almighty. You all deserve some peace from the rumor mill on television.

    Best of Luck,

    Dave

  17. Rachelle said:

    SOO true about trying to gte even,,it never works!!!!!LOVING this new JIM!!!!

  18. Tamra beat the hell outta Slade and now she’s doing it to Alexis. I love that you won’t let her!

  19. Melissa said:

    sassy and bold! i am in love with you jim! i used to really hate you! believe it! what your doing here is amazing! all the best from IOWA!

  20. DerrickD said:

    Alexis was so great on Andy’s show. You are a lucky man my friend!

  21. rosycakes said:

    many good points here but i wonder where this is all going. are you guys gonna get your own show? imo you should. maybe then people could understand you are real ppl and see that being christain isn’t meaning being perfect it means you have christ in your heart and life.

  22. Alexis won’t sell her soul for a paycheck? She is the only one then. She’s in a class all her own and looks beautiful. Screw the people drinkin’ Haterade.

  23. rhocfanatic said:

    T is gonna have to drink some of her own medicine. Or should I say poison. Karma’s a bitch!

  24. BRAVO JIM (all puns intended)

  25. Dameun1 said:

    “It sure is convenient when people use being feminine as a means to protect themselves against a man talking about them, but then they say anything they want about a man—this kind of hypocrisy makes me wan to throw up.” < Brilliant

    Even as a gay man this double-standard bugs me to no end. Thank you for having the courage to say this out loud!

  26. yes we know how the rocky shows end.we have 2 sons and now they are in there 20 and the rocky series with sly is ones fav.i already new from season 5 when lex joined she was a strong confident funny gal.we luv you girl.my husband when he walks in the room and i am watching oc.if tamra is on he can not take it.he says she is alwalys talking about sex or vulgar comments.he has only seen 2 small parts this season.she likes alot of air time.we still ones have to pray for her.maybe if there is a season 8 she will be gone.i do not like the vulgar comments and words.lex is so lady like.that is why i watch.

  27. You make me think Jim. No one on any of these shows has ever done that.

  28. monterreybaby said:

    Bravo would be blessed to have more of you Jim; Won’t you consider coming back? Love your blog; have been following since day one!

  29. cancerfighter said:

    LMAO haven’t laughed THAT hard about 90210 since Brenda and Dillon broke up. Get em Jimbo!

  30. DonnaDoes said:

    omfg Tamra and the wiping of the faux tears! brrrrahahaahahahaahahahaaha! Truth: I never liked you until I read your blog. It is like clearer than crystal lite you got edited into an a**hole by Bravo. Puhleeeze keep doing this!

    We’re gonna put the whole system on trial! -Jim Carrey

  31. Susie said:

    The more successful Alexis becomes, the more She will be attacked, I can now see it happening from Gretchen too. always remember there is something wrong with a bully, not the one being bullied. Stay strong.

  32. Off topic said:

    Just saw a comment on a site that I would like to share and says the truth! Even Vicki wrote this in her blog that Tamra always picks fights with people.

    Tamra is so jealous. First she was jealous of Gretchen, now Alexis. She is always threatened by anyone who is beautiful, younger and thinner. If Heather was pretty, Tamra would hate her guts and be making rude comments, constantly. Watching these women constantly sniping at each other every week on these shows has gotten very tiresome for me.

  33. Off topic said:

    This is so true..
    “If you can’t keep someone’s name out of your mouth, no matter what the sentiments for them are, it means you are thinking about them—the more you talk about them, the more it becomes evident you are thinking about them.””

    If this means good or bad,,it’s true.
    Think about it,
    You work talk about your kids all day. Why? You thinking of them.
    Some makes you mad (or your jealous of them) You talk about it. Why? You keep thinking about it.

  34. Maricela said:

    I know its JUST reality tv but what woman on this show say has a affect that ripples out to how other woman treat eachother. Its like any trend. Chosing to gossip and make fun of others and knowing it will hurt them & not caring is cold. These people need to think how what they do shows people watching a way to act & treat others. You Are right when you Say you have a responsibillity when on TV. Think about the young impressioneble woman who watch this show and think its cool to be that way. Sad :(

  35. georgian said:

    NEWSFLASH: Caddy bitches and their gossip are ruining this show. It’s not fun to watch anymore.

  36. LaceyJensen said:

    I just sat down and read all of your blogs and your biography page too Jim. My god you have been through the ringer! Look how serious this all got with Russell Armstrong from Beverly Hills. I see you are strong enough to keep it moving and it seems like Alexis has gotten a thicker skin this season too. But I do worry about Slade potentially going down that kind of path that Russell did. He could lose his marbles and I don’t think he is that far from it. I really feel terrible for him. Gretchen needs to learn to stand by her man like Alexis does. I don’t understand why that is seen as a bad thing. Would Tamrra not stand by her man? I guess only time will tell. But anyway, keep doing what you’re doing. It is important.

    Lacey Jenson

  37. spunkymunkey said:

    Great blog but I hope you know Tamra is going to be yesterdays news by next season. She pretended to be friends with Peggy until she realized there was no profit in that and now she does the same to Vicky and something tells me she will try to make ammends with Alexes so she can cash in on another fony friendship like she has done with Gretchen. I hope Alexes won’t fall in to this trap.

  38. Unapologetically Christian and classy. Dare I say, “I’m almost a fan”. Thank you for this forum.

  39. Jim, I really enjoy your blog. It is great to hear your prospective on the episodes since you have chosen to step back. It is refreshing that you and Alexis make no apologies for your marriage, home life or religious beliefs. My husband and I have been together 32 years. We are each others best friends. When our children were young I did the majority of the housework and child rearing while my husband went to work and earned a living. I felt blessed to have the opportunity to stay home and care for my children. It was a honor and I felt privileged to “serve” my family. When I decided to return to work, my husband helped me at home but I STILL did most of everything myself because that is how we chose to live. Worked for us then, still works now. We are even more in love today than the day we married.

  40. Lauren Laymance said:

    Well I have always been a fan of Alexis & you, I do have to say that she is a bit more densive in the interviews. She never use to talk badly about any of the other women, she always took the higher road, & even argued w/ Vicky on one of the reunions that she NEVER does that. So why 3rd season is she doing that, I had faith in Alexis to always be the one housewive (out of them ALL, all cities) that was above that. She talks badly about Heather right off the bat in a negative way. Maybe Heather has been rude or hurtful to her & it hasn’t been seen yet, but still….the whole point of YOUR blogs lately have been about being above all of the pettiness, & shes not really coming across like that at times. Just wanted to share, & also from what I have seen of Gretchen, Alexis should keep HER eyes open..Tamera & Gretchen deep down are just alike.

  41. Jem840 said:

    Jim, I have been reading your blogs each week and I had to finally comment on this one. I tend to agree with your weekly blogs, but this one particularly struck me. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about playing the gender card – I had the exact same discussion with my husband last night while we were watching the show. I don’t necessarily agree with Slade poking at Vicki and Tamra’s weight, but for them to play the gender card and say he should never disrespect women that way infuriates me! Yes, it is important for men to respect women, but men deserve just as much respect as women, and those two sure didn’t care when they were making horrible comments about Slade for the past seasons. Though I may not be the biggest Slade fan, I totally understand where he is coming from, and for Vicki and Tamra, if they were willing to dish it out, they needed to be able to take it.

    It breaks my heart to see Tamra (and now Heather) belittle Alexis so much – frankly, Tamra likes to play the mean girl role and it is getting old. It is disheartening to watch someone like Alexis, who doesn’t make nasty comments about the other ladies, get treated this way. I can only imagine how much it has to hurt her, but I hope she is able to focus on all of the positive in her life, and know that there are those of us who are cheering for her!

    My husband and I wish your family the best! By the way, we love visiting Dana Point when we are in CA – what a great place to live!

  42. Very well said! God bless you and all the best!

  43. Amen!

  44. I really don’t understand why you have taken yourself “off” the show but spend time writing blogs about the show and these women.

  45. Really loving the blog. I hope you continue to write after each episode, and about things not related to RHOC. Maybe you could get a version of the Husbands of OC going… maybe get your views on air :)

  46. Gina DeLuca said:

    There is nothing like a man standing up for his wife and mother of his children! Keep it up–Alexis is a great gal–I watch the show for her! God Bless!

  47. Nina in DC said:

    Big fan of Alexis! She was great on WWHL. I understand your opinion on how Vicki and Tamra have insulted Slade for years, thus shouldn’t be shocked when he retaliates. But at the same time, don’t you think his behavior was tacky and immature? Vicki and Tamra have said bad things about you, and you chose to take the high road and not engage with them. Why can’t Slade do the same thing? This is why I don’t have respect for him.

  48. Shannon said:

    Loving reading the bogs and I’m so glad that your still writing them, for a minute there I thought you were gonna stop.. I think it’s a great platform for you to write how you are really feeling and not letting Bravo with their ” convenient editing” make you and your family look to be something your NOT!! God Bless you and your family, keep your chin up! Oh by the way… Let Alexis know that she needs to not say anything that comes across as competitive cause they always try to say she is jealous… I know she’s just being her self.. But they make it look like she’s competing with the other girls. I know these shows were taped months ago so she can not change that, but going forward, in the interviews and in the reunion if it hasn’t been taped yet.

  49. Katia77 said:

    I enjoy these blogs. I also remember my mom saying “What people think of you is none of your business” i never understood it back then but I sure do now! I use that line with my own kids. Life is so short, why not make it a happy one.
    This drama is good for ratings but other than that, who needs it? As much as we all say we don’t like drama, it never fails ~ it follow all of us. Your reaction to it, is what matters ~ I feel Alexis handles herself great. She is true to herself and her family. Although sometimes (alot of times) she comes off a little ditzy and confused. I like her more and more. :) have a great week!

  50. Summer said:

    SO YOU REALLY DON’T POST NEGATIVE COMMENTS…PRETTY LAME HOW YOU FILTER YOUR COMMENTS. kEEP THE BLINDERS ON jIM..THEY LOOK GOOD ON YOU

    • Your previous two comments were defamatory and alienating. I opted not to post them on those grounds. I absolutely do filter my comments, and have always said that I would not tolerate the kinds of posts you attempted to have published here.

      • kathleen said:

        It is quite obvious that your comments are filtered. You have only allowed comments espressing approval and/or praise of you and your wife to be published which makes for a very one-sided representation of public opinion. While I sincerely respect and appreciate you standing up for your wife and her friends, I believe your refusal to allow others’ opinions to be expressed just gives the reader the impression that it is…well…BS. you speak of hypocrisy and Christianity yet your blog is only pointing fingers at those who have presumably hurt you, your family, or your friends. Slade’s “comedy” act was vile, malicious, not funny, and filled with vengeance fueled hate. His anger cuts way deeper than any of the other ladies and is a catalyst for a lot of the problems that follow. It is not a “rumor” that Slade does not pay child support. A very quick google search can give anyone access to his case documents. The records don’t lie. Supporting your child is a fundamental element of Christian morality, not to mention a legal obligation and requirement. Therein lies the biggest issue I have with your blog. It is way too one-sided as in which direction you choose to point your finger and the hypocrisy is found in more than one place. -£

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